Ooh, that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
– Lynyrd Skynyrd

Aside from the discounted chocolate a week after, the Easter celebration of zombie Jesus is a holiday without merit.

A tribute to the truly gullible, every year Christians celebrate the rebirth of Jesus. It takes a special kind of fool to believe that after three days, a dead body is suddenly going to wake up from the dead and walk among the living.

It’s ok when it’s the plot of a horror movie, because we all know it’s make believe, just like we’re willing to suspend belief for the sake of thrill during a Star Wars or James Bond movie.

But to actually believe a rotting corpse can reanimate? That’s grade A gullibility.

Don’t know if you’ve ever seen a dead person. I have on more occasions than I would have cared to. Even discovering a fresh dead body is traumatic, but discovering a corpse that is a few days old will assault your senses in a way you will never forget.

Bodies deprived of oxygen rapidly begin decomposing, and by three days the maggots are throwing a party because they’ve found a new home that is going to feed generations of their kind.

So yeah, think about that next time you’re biting the ears of that cute chocolate bunny.