Then he said to them: “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven. – Luke 21:10-11

The passage Tyrel Bramwell referred us to is supposedly Jesus’ answer to his disciples after one of them noticed that the temple had far more wealth than the poor people attending it.

The next lines in Luke illustrate that Jesus favored the poor over the wealthy, a good lesson for Christians to learn, especially these days when billionaires are buying our democracy and promising to tear it down. (or trying to sell you $3 Bibles made in China for $60) However, it’s been my experience that right-wing Christians rarely follow what Jesus actually taught. They would rather send the poor back to the war torn country they escaped than allow them a good night’s rest in their manger.

But back to this week’s sign about earthquakes. It was another one of Bramwell’s signs that stunned me as I drove by it, wondering how can anyone be so willing to publicize their ignorance?

First off, worldwide, there are about 290,000 earthquakes a year. Jesus hasn’t been seen since 33 CE, so after his disappearance, there have been over 577 million earthquakes. Not once has Jesus decided that was the appropriate temblor to reappear. You know, fool me once, fool me twice, but 577 million times?

Just in Ferndale’s recorded history, he didn’t appear after the 1899 earthquake that is estimated to have been a 7.0.

Nor the 1906, 1918 and 1922 earthquakes.

He also did not appear after the 1934, 1941, 1954, 1970, 1980, 1991, 2010, 2014, 2016, 2021, or 2022 earthquakes, all which registered over 6.0 on the Richter scale.

Using earthquakes to forecast the reappearance of mythological characters appears to have some faults, pardon my pun.

It amazes me that someone, in the 21st century, someone who went to college, would not understand tectonic theory, and instead believe the ground shaking is a sign from their god.

But if earthquakes were sent from God, well, then fuck him. He’s supposed to be so damn perfect an all, yet he designed this planet’s surface with more broken plates than my house had last week.

Not to mention, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, fires and a bunch of other possible natural disasters that kill thousands of innocent people every year. What a nice guy, isn’t he?

Earthquakes to me are a reminder that we live in a very imperfect world, one in which you could die at any moment. Another good reason to be spending your Sunday mornings living your life instead of listening to some moron espouse his superstitious beliefs.