Be faithful unto death and I will give you life.

Yep, that’s one big con job right there. It’s basically why religion persists in this world, whether it’s Christianity, Islam, or any number of other religions.

It’s hard to get you to contribute money if the lecture from the pulpit every week was “be nice because when you die you’re worm food.”

But by promising you a wonderful afterlife, they sucker you back week after week, so that you pay for their house, their car, their clothes, their food.

If I had one wish in this world, it would be that when every religious person dies, they would find out that they were conned, and they had to tell all their loved ones the truth. But they won’t and can’t because they’re dead.

It’s why Christianity’s promise of an afterlife is the perfect con game. Bramwell can lie week after week, promising you’ll go to heaven, confident that no one will ever come back on Sunday to call him out.

“You know, it wasn’t anything like you promised Bramwell. You said I’d go to heaven and meet all my loved ones and live happily ever after. But you know what, I hadn’t been in the ground for more than a few hours before my body began decomposing into a pool of lifeless stinky goo. I want my money back.”

Yep, that’ll never happen, and Bramwell knows he’s safe to keep selling the lie. Churches have been mining the gullible for thousands of years. Hundreds of years ago the clergy built themselves huge palaces with the wealth they acumulated by selling the immortality lie. These days, it’s not uncommon to see pastors flying around the country on their own private jets.

Kenneth Copeland is worth $760 million, Pat Robertson is was worth $100 million, Benny Hinn is worth $42 million, Joel Osteen is worth $40 million, Billy Graham is worth $25 million.

You aren’t going to heaven, but they’re sure having a great time with your money.